Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
It DOES sound "shady" because it IS "shady.
I understand what you are saying and the logic in thinking but as a parent (not a provider) I just couldn't imagine lying (even by omission) simply to get my child enrolled somewhere. 
It might work in a million other situations but I just wouldn't feel as if my child was receiving truly authentic and genuine care if my provider felt betrayed, lied to or mis-led.
It might not be such a big deal in regards to other legal constraints (ie: not wanting to have a public restroom or something less personal) but I just don't see ANY provider I've ever known (virtually or IRL) that wouldn't act differently towards a parent that "tricked" them in some way....kwim?
I also understand that parents of special needs kids want their children cared for just like every other child but as much as they want that, it doesn't change the fact that their child isn't just like every other child.
My child has/had special needs (I say 'had' only because they aren't a child any longer) and I couldn't imagine my child being cared for in an environment not aware of, not trained or not wanting to deal with my child's unique need.
See, I would want to know upfront, because I have my own partial disability & it could affect the care I give especially since my home cannot be retro-fitted for special equipment due to space issues alone... I'm looking at selling because I can't find a way to make my home ADA for myself much less a special needs baby. And with so few kids & the small space, paying someone is not an option even if it's only $100 week as I only gross 450 right now. I'm not making ends meet because I still have an open position too, but 2 adults in this small home with kids... wouldn't work. My home was bought to exact footage for 4 babies under 24 months and my bedroom (which is off limits) once toys & furniture was placed