I think that what you're feeling is totally natural. I've been there before and it does sting. For me, I think the worst part of my experiences with the 2 dcb's that left early this year was that I really tried hard to assure that they had a good daycare experience with me. I sort of felt like I failed with them and it took me a while to realize that it wasn't anything that was lacking in me or them. We just weren't good fits for each other. I can admit that I have an issue with my ego when it comes to my job performance sometimes and with those 2 boys (dcb3.5 in particular) I took it very personally when he left because his mom felt like he wasn't getting enough interaction with kids his age here and that might help him potty train. She told me that she was putting him in preschool but she wasn't sure exactly when so I gave her the termination date since she was being vague about the date. I think that it was her way to try to get me to offer a lower price for me to keep him and a way to get me to potty train him the way that she wanted me to (she wanted me to let him pee in the shower because that's what he did at home! Ummm...no...). I know that she wasn't prepared for me to call her bluff, but I did and he was out 2 weeks later. It hurt more than I thought it would because I kept kicking the crap out of myself over my percieved failure. I get it now that I wasn't the right choice for him, nor was I the right choice for my dcb3. When he left, I felt more of a sense of relief but there were still some nagging feelings of inadequacy on my part. Since then, I've dealt with those feelings and now I can go into any interview situation with the knowledge that I may not be the best choice for the family and they may not be the right fit here. I actually tell parents at interviews that I want them to check out other daycares before they decide to go with me because I may not be the best fit. I'm not the cheapest (but I'm not super expensive either), we don't watch TV, and I enforce rest time. For those reasons, I have lost out on some income and that's OK because it comes down to staying firm on the things that are in line with what you want in your daycare. I hope that you don't make yourself feel like anything was lacking in you. Be gentle with yourself and understand that it's OK to feel sad about it, but it isn't a reflection on you as a provider because I bet that you're awesome with the rest of your kiddos! Take care
