Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
"I can no longer allow...."
"This no longer works for me..."
"Due to the risk of allergies, bedbugs, lice,etc., etc., I will NO longer be allowing backpacks of any kind through my door"
It sounds like your backbone has turned into jelly(Please take no offense, mine does that quite often!!) but if this truly bothers you(which it would grate on my nerves terribly!)you will have to turn firm. Write it up in a note if you have a difficult time with confronting them. Just tell them starting Feb. 19(or whatever day) there will no longer be any food, drinks or backpacks allowed in your home. Do you have a cubby area or shelf you can keep extra clothes and daily essentials for the children? Request those things to be brought and left at your dc but NOTHING else. And if you're feeling really strong, refuse them at the door without the required paperwork. 
It's okay. You CAN do this and request things this way. Honestly. This parent needs to listen to you and if they choose not to, then maybe you can tell them it's not a good fit. That might be just enough to make her stand up and know you mean business about your business.
The wonderful people here are filled with backbone to spare and will talk you through it. But it all comes down to you, using your voice and making dcm listen.
What is that saying that goes 'if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten'. So change it now or you'll forever be resentful and upset with yourself and this dcm.
Just wanted to add I am such a wimp when it comes to confronting dcps. One dcm had not brought in any of her required paperwork even though I had asked for it several times. One a.m. she showed up again without and I refused care until she brought it back. She was NOT a happy camper. But it was HER problem, not mine. *I* could've gotten into trouble without it and no dcf is worth that. The grandma thanked me for standing up to her.
Yes, so just like the cubby area they do have extra clothing, diapers, wipes, etc here. I have a full closet for them here also. And of course a house full of toys and materials. They seriously need nothing here. When they leave it's like the house is just waiting for them to come back because so much of our home is reserved for them.
Thank you these are exactly the things I need to hear
