Originally Posted by Willow:
How does what one does in regards to their own family have anything to do with the liabilities that come along with running a business and caring for other peoples children?
Why some providers think it's normal and acceptable for children to assault other children with their mouths -but- not their hands, feet, other toys etc is beyond me. It's all the exact same ball of wax and IMHO none of it is acceptable.
It would be absolutely appropriate for any provider to term if they were unable to prevent or stop a child from assaulting/abusing another.
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
agreed!
The daycare kids are not family and there is a completely opposite set of "rules" when caring for other children. I dont keep aggressive kids, period. Yes biting is something that kids do....but as a provider, if you dont have a plan of action to deal with this immediately and appropriately, you are going to have major issues with the biter AND the bitees.
Additionally, not every kid comes thru the biting phase easily....some kids need A LOT of supervision for months and some kids escalate to really aggressive behaviors. Providers shouldnt have to feel like they HAVE to put up with anything a kid doles out.
I'm *not* saying it's not appropriate, I'm just saying that I don't think it's the only course of action.
I haven't termed either biter because frankly, I preferred to keep them and deal with the problem myself rather than shove them out where they'd likely just bite *more* in a new and uncomfortable envrionment and start a vicious cycle of daycare changing. Especially those of you who seem to be so common and prone to terming an "aggressive" child at the first sign of aggression. It's a child, not an unruly adult. I feel comfortable teaching a child gentle behavior and better approaches to things; I know I'm not going to hit them or ridicule them or other horrible things that we hear of happening in other daycares all the time.
Willow, I do find it fascinating how AP you are and sometimes I agree with you....but somehow we are opposite ends of the AP spectrum. I just don't see biting in a young child as aggression...I see it as part of their development and a sign of something else needing addressed. Either it's experimentation with a behavior, or brought on by teething pain, or the only reaction a non- or limited- verbal child has to stressful situations (tussle over a toy, chaos, etc).
Just as I can't stop every hurled toy from flying across the room, or every curious 15 month old attempt to see if the 12 month old's ears are removable, or every frustrated shove...I can't stop every bite. But I DEAL with these situations with my daycare kids the same way I deal with them in my own kids.
I don't expect kids to be perfect little angels--they're KIDS. I cannot figure out where this culture of "omg if the kid isn't perfect then throw them out!" comes from, but it makes me really sad.
