Originally Posted by Lizette:
So apparently this DCM didn't like being told her son is acting up. She said that it's too much from us saying how he is acting. She is upset that she only gets bad behavior reports home, and why is she never told he does a good job.
I do tell them that so and so did great today when they do what they are supposed to they get stickers on their papers or hands or they are our helpers for a certain activity.
She took it among herself to make a good day folder and told her kids hand the folders to Ms. Liz by the time I turned around to read what they were she literally ran out the door.
I am not going give her kids special treatment because she thinks she's above everyone else. Her and her husband have had a bad attitude with us since Tuesday and I don't think I will able to handle it much longer. Still open to suggestions.
Whoa! There is no way that I would use that either. It wouldn't serve any purpose, except to make the parent feel better about his behavior.
For dcm- Here is how I present the information about difficult behaviors to parents.
"We asked dcb to do (insert task) and he became upset and spit on teacher Liz. This is puzzling because he is typically a good natured little guy. I would like your support in figuring out how to get him to follow directions with the group so he has better days at school." (Sandwich bad with good and make it about supporting dcb)
Within the conversation, I usually sell them by talking about how mastering this skill at the preschool level is going to make their child more successful in Kindergarten.
For dcb- To handle the behaviors in the meantime, blackcat gave some good suggestions. If he's blowing up when given adult direction, he's learned that this is the most effective way to respond when faced with a task he doesn't want to do. More than likely, it works at home. He wouldn't be doing it otherwise.
To curb the behavior, it needs to stop working at daycare. If he were in my class, I would err on the side of caution and assume he's a child that needs a heads up before changing activities. Give a five minute warning before cleaning up or changing activities.
If asked to do something like clean up and he reacts with anger . . . "I see your angry. You can join us at (next activity) when you have finished cleaning up your mess." Don't engage him. Don't give him attention. Keep your poker face. Give him his options and attend to the other kids. He can rejoin the group when he completes the task.
He will need consistent reinforcement of the rules along with adult reinforcing that the outrageous behavior does an effective way to get out of things you don't like doing.