Originally Posted by professionalmom:
What I meant by mother's guilt is that the mom's I have dealt with are gone for very long hours because they are single moms. When I day long hours, I am talking about 12-16 hours a day because of working and going to school. I always try to tell them that they shouldn't feel guilty for doing what they need to do to try to provide a better life for their children. However, they always tell me that they feel bad because they don't get much time with their children. One mom told me this all the time, then made it sound like there must be something bad about how I cared for her child because he cried everyday at drop-off. It was easier for her to blame me, rather than acknowledge the situation for what it was - 2 yr old didn't want to come here because he knew he wouldn't get to see mom all day (here from 7:30am to 11pm). He just wanted mommy time. But the minute she was gone, he was ok and started playing. Since she had admitted how bad she felt, she felt guilty. But to take some of this guilt off of herself, it was easier to blame me. Fine.
I don't ever deal with schedules like that. I don't keep kids for more than nine hours. If you have a young child and you need to work then you have to figure out how you can fit school into that without making it so that you litterally don't have your kid at all during the working week except for overnight. It doesn't pay to advance your education when you are giving up nearly all of their childhood awake time by doing it.
I have had a few single parents who have tried to do work and school both but never full time for both. Even ones with part time additional school or work it usually failed. The ones who were successful with school only had school.
I get someone trying to improve their lives with education but I don't get someone having a child in care 16 hours a day 5 days a week. It can't work out even if you have the best day care on the planet.