Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
NannyDe is right.
You're perception of what is happening has now become your own truth. You feel that your daughter is being neglected at daycare and in your absence and you don't trust your provider to be able to move past that without your supervision. If that is how you feel, that is fine. Just own it. Quit your job and stay home with your infant. That choice is okay to make!
But be aware that transitioning at 6 months or a year almost always is harder than infant age. Babies and young toddlers are very aware of the change, much more so than infants. If you stay home, I suggest staying till 15 or 18 months when you child is ready to be more independent and able to move into group care a bit better.
I am reading between the lines here but it appears that what you really want by posting here is for people to support you decision to stay home and support the idea that your child is going to be damaged by crying and that your provider and your child will not be able to adjust to this scenario. I cannot support all those ideas because as a mother of four and an experienced daycare provider, experience tells me otherwise HOWEVER, I support your right to decide what is best for your family. If you dont want to wait out an adjustment period and you want the support to quit your job, here it is from me.
Lastly, you have the best scenario possible....a nanny for daycare cost. That is as good as it gets. You wont be able to find a better set up than that. And now that I know that your provider has no other kids in care, I think staying for half days is definitely a bad idea. Your infant will almost surely not benefit from this and it will be you that is trying to "interview" the provider and gain a comfort level during those times. It does not take two adults to care for one baby and do nothing else. Sounds horribly awkward for the provider. I cant imagine that she will take it any other way than a bad way BUT if you want to ask and she is okay with it, then by all means, try it. I just dont think it will change anything for you. I think you would sit in her house for a week or two and then quit your job anyway so that would be a waste of her time. I could be wrong, but I probably am not.
That was my first thought too.... I think OP simply wants a group of experienced providers to tell her what she wants to hear.
I have NEVER heard of emotionally damaging an infant when it comes to crying.
I also do NOT believe that a 4 month old has the capabilities to suffer from separation anxiety.
I think OP WANTS to stay home and care for her own child but needs "permission" or some sort of logical reasoning to give her a push to make that decision.
I also think moving her from one provider to the next in such sort periods of time is MORE damaging to her emotionally than the crying.