One of the things I do from the get go is greet them at the door and let them know how the tour/interview will be going.
So:
"Hi, I'm Mrs. K! It's so nice to meet you! First I'll give YOU the grand tour, then we can sit and discuss policies and such, then if you have any questions you can ask - I find it's so helpful to do it this way - often once I go over the policies it takes care of many of the questions!" BIG SMILE
Even with that I still feel as though I rarely get to highlight what should be highlighted.
