Eh, I run a SMALL in home. While parents don't find information out from me, it's absurd to think they don't ever talk or even know each other outside of day care.

When I had a situation with a client who had custody issues, everyone knew and not because of me.

The OP said the provider was "encouraging" the parent to hang out at the dc, which is what I've tried to address. The provider may not have a choice or feel she has a choice.

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