We have a 23 month old DCG, who is extremely limited with her self-help skills.

She is VERY VERY immature, and until recently I didn't believe it was due to any developmental delay. I had always blamed it on her parents babying her to an extraordinary degree. DCG is 23 months, and at home they have baby gates up everywhere - never giving her the opportunity to learn that there are rules. She is spoon fed almost everything, she is dressed like an infant (onesies with no pants, etc -at almost 2), has a pacifier 24/7 at home. The other day my mother, who is a realtor on the side, went over their house to give real estate advice - and saw a baby swing and turns out mom puts DCG in the swing when she takes a shower. AT 23 MONTHS OLD !!! . I truly think they think of her as a baby.

We typically move children into the preschool class/group at 18 months, and we just moved her because she just wasn't mature enough to handle doing semi-structured activities, and had her paci full-time and those aren't allowed in with the preschoolers. We have finally moved her and she is doing alright.

However, I assumed that once we moved her in with the bigger kids her skills would advance. Upon paying closer attention, and working with her - I am noticing just how dependent she is.

She cannot take her shoes off, she can't use a spoon (not looking for perfection - just an attempt), she sometimes listens to simple one-step directions, she can't help to wash her own face after meals (once again, not looking for perfection - just an attempt). I can't imagine her attempting to execute using the toilet (we aren't there yet, but she IS almost 2).

With all these actions, I show her how to do them, and then ask her to try and her hands just go limp.

I really would like to bring this up with Mom, that some of her self-help skills need to be advanced - but I don't want to offend her...

Upon noticing the severity (not being able to imitate), I am also concerned that they might be due to some sort of developmental issue, but due to the amount of babying going on at home (DCG is home with mom 2 days of the week) it is hard to discern what is going on.

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