I am there with you...my 92 year old grandmother is dying. She had cancer twice in the past several years, and the chemo and radiation from the last one took her to the point of no return.
She has basically stopped eating and went into renal failure like your grandpa, but she's still very coherent and has refused any further medical intervention. So she was turned over to hospice today and has basically gone home to die in peace.
She's had a long full life and is ready to rest. I just feel awful for my mom, who is her caregiver and will be there alone probably when it happens.
Sorry to hijack your thread. I send my condolences to you and am glad your dc families made it that much easier on you.