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rhymia1 05:18 AM 09-21-2012
Originally Posted by Soccermom:
I need help!!
My daughter turned eight and is having her birthday party next weekend. I babysit two kids who are both in her her class so naturally I wanted to invite them to her party. They play together everyday afterschool but DD doesn't want to invite them....I know the moms really well and they are good kids but DD says she doesn't play with them at school. I pointed out that she sees them everyday here but she still wasn't interested.

The most difficult thing about it is that my two girls were born a couple of days apart and we decided to have their birthdays together this year ( I am getting old and I just can't handle 2 birthday parties that close together anymore.) The DCGs she doesn't want to invite also have big sisters who I babysit as well and are in my older DD's class....older DD is inviting the big sisters!

I am not sure how to deal with this...I hate birthday parties because I hate leaving kids out, also I really like my DCKs and hate for their feelings to get hurt.

I hate this!!! Do you worry about hurting kids' feelings when planning your own school age children's Bday Parties? I always end up inviting WAY too many kids and spending WAY too much $$ because of it. I told the kids they could each have 2 friends and I would take them to the movies...we are now up to 4 friends each AND a pizza party at our place afterwards for a couple of girls who couldn't come to the movies because of dance but who my girls just HAD to invite...

AAAHHHH!!!
I'm going to be the odd man out here, but I allow my kids to pick out who they want to invite to their birthday parties. Just because your dd plays with the girls in the PM (really, what choice does she have?) does not mean she *has* to invite them to her party. I often find that kids have reasons for things that we, as adults, overlook. For instance my younger DD wanted only girls at her birthday party this year - despite the fact she is friends with the two dc boys in her grade who come every day *and* who invited her to their birthday party. She's just at that age. I did explain to her that she was not to talk about her birthday party with the dc boys and that they might feel hurt and left out because of it. She eventually explained that some times the boys play too roughly (true) and she didn't want her friends getting hurt at her party.
One thing I started doing from the get go is having a dc party on the kids actual birthday (for all the kids) and then keeping my kid parties separate from that. This way all the dc kids are invited to the "party" and I can keep the other birthday party guest list reasonable (with kids my own kids actually choose to be with) and limit hurt feelings.
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