Originally Posted by blandino:
Dear unregistered OP, wherever you are...
I just read your last post that says your daughter is "very part-time".
I understand that you are looking for a long slow adjustment period. While that may *seem*' like an easy gentle way to ease her in, it is actually MUCH MUCH harder. A long, slow, drawn out process that doesn't leave her in daycare enough back to back days to get used to it, is going to be harder on everyone. If she starts to adjust after 1/2 days, and then she is home with you for a few days, she is going to completely lose all of the adjusting she did during the daycare days, (this is why a lot of providers don't take part-time infants). It is going to be turbulent. To me finding out that she is "very part-time" gave me a huge "No, wonder she is having a hard time".
Much like the staying for hours at the provider's home. It just makes things harder in the long run. You still have to get them used to being at daycare without you.
As much as you are going to hate to hear it, you need to start her full-time (whenever you do), and then give it a month of going full-time. And then see how she is doing.
As far as helping your provider figure out your baby, that is something the provider needs to do by herself. She has her own style, which isn't and shouldn't be the same as yours - and she needs to figure out how she is going to respond to baby. I know she is your little girl and special in your own eyes, but no baby is so special/different that the provider needs to be taught/shown how to care for them. The provider will do it her way, and she and baby will both adjust to each other.
Please please please do not keep baby "very part-time", she will never adjust with that type of schedule. Full immersion is BY FAR the best way to get her to adjust.
Well that sucks. A friend of mine suggested I do that. It's what she does with her kids. I can see how it's making it harder for my lg, though. I think it is best to start her full time next week. Just rip the band aide off! that's gonna be so hard.
Thank you all for your comments. I decided not to ask to stay. And today I dropped the "rescuer" mentality. I dropped her off and left. Usually I sit in the car for awhile to see if I can hear her cry. Sometimes I'll drive back by later on to see if I hear her cry. But I've stopped all that. I haven't gotten a text from the provider this afternoon again so I'm sure she's crying but I'm sitting at home. Blah. I started with one foot in the door but now realize that I was just creating more problems. If I'm going to find out if this works I have to back off. I hate that she's going through this but I realized that by rescuing her, hovering, worrying when I leave, that I'm not only creating anxiety in the provider (maybe) but I'm also not showing that much faith in my own daughter. I think my behavior is sending out signals that she's weak and can't cope, and maybe I thought that. She's little, but she's smart.
I love my provider and know she'll do everything she can do make my lg happy. That was never the question. I guess the real doubt was if my daughter could respond to her cues. I think at the heart of all my worry was that I had no faith in my own daughter.
Thanks again everyone!
Oh, here is the link to the article I read suggesting I stay to help her adjust:
http://www.ivillage.com/babies-deali...ion/6-n-137358
In the article is says, "The caregiver can observe your interactions with your child and you and the caregiver can begin building the strong partnership which will form the basis of quality, consistent care for your child."
Guess not!! haha