Originally Posted by Unregistered:
It's always harder for mom/dad to leave baby than it is actually on the baby.
It's normal.
There does have to be a certain level of trust that your provider can meet the baby's needs, though, or the relationship won't work.
Baby needs time (like you) to bond with provider.
Mom you have to understand that you need time too. That's what's great about trial periods.
Babies cry. I have NEVER known a baby to die or have permanent damage emotionally, from crying when all their needs have been met. Sometimes, it takes time for babies to get used to their surroundings.
As they become more aware, they become a little bit more clingy. At 4 months, though, the baby doesn't really have a separation issue. It's an adjustment, but nowhere near a separation "anxiety" At this age, babies just need basic things met, and don't really care who does it.
The beauty about having an infant going through this transition NOW, is that it gets easier rather than waiting. And by the time you have another, you'll be a PRO!
Kiss baby at the door and drop n leave works best for both babies and providers and moms too.
Since you're not working, you might go get yourself a massage, try to relax, or find a friend for a cup of coffee/hot chocolate so you can talk your feelings through. Maybe another mom.
Then appreciate your provider. She's doing her best just like you are. And if you don't think so, switch. But remember, the more you bounce baby from place to place, the harder it will be for her AND you. Relationships, trust, bonding: it all takes time.
You can do it, if you trust your own instincts to provide for your baby. You just have to really dig deep sometimes. Give yourself and baby some time with this gal and if it works out, you'll be so happy. It TAKES A VILLAGE! No mom can do it alone.
Sorry the above post was mine. It didn't take my screenname. ~L