Man what a tough situation. I'd also try and reach out to the mom, especially if she seemed like she wanted to say something and didn't. Invite her over to talk, hopefully she'll get the point you don't want her dh to come. I wonder, if you could stop by the hopspital with you know ONLY mom will be there, so you can talk privately with her. Bring cards and crafts from the kids. In the end, it's that poor little girl who is suffering.
