Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
First off, kicking a baby would mean immeditate termination here. NOT cool! YOU have an obligation to your other families in care so that they are not injured or harmed by another child.
I wouldn't give a rat's behind if the mother of this DCB is sensitive or not....kicking a baby is beyond ok or within the normal range of behavior for a 3.5 yr old.
Despite dad's wish for an easy answer medicating their child is not going to help. Medication ONLY works in conjunction with behavioral manangement.
If I were you, I would "suggest" or ask for anything from these parents. What I would do is INSIST they get their child on some sort of behavior plan and that REQUIRE that they share this plan with you. The plan must include consequences for unwanted behavior.
When the child does not comply, then I would call the parents immediately for pick up.
I would also not ask or suggest the parent keep them home when they are not at work but would again INSIST.
DCM says she enjoys/likes her time alone? 
I am sorry, but that just makes me believe that she is not at all taking any of this child's behavior as serious. 
HER child is in need of some attention and he is showing it in more ways than one. It is time she step up and put her child's needs ahead of her own.
Chickenfarms.....I am sorry you are dealing with this but don't let anyone convince you this is YOUR problem to solve. It is not.
Hang in there....it IS hard to deal with parents who don't want to recognize or admit that their child has issues of any kind. It is much easier to let YOU figure it out and honestly, that is not fair. Nor is it your job to do so. 
I like you already!
I had actually sent her 3 other strongly worded emails prior to the one I sent, that turned her in to a mess, so that is why I was going for a gentler approach.
She actually text me tonight and asked if she could bring a list of things they were working on for my house that she was going to include in a reward chart at home. She said the counseling session went well and that he is going back next week. I told her I am going to keep a praise and bad behavior report so that we could communicate more clearly on what his days are really like here.
Good grief...I hate drama. Hopefully they will follow through with whatever their plan is, although I am questioning the use of a reward chart. Charts are fine when you have good behavior mixed with some bad choices, but I don't know that me telling him that he didn't earn a sticker for a chart he has at home is going to do much good. We tried a jelly bean system-each kid starts with 5 and if you make a bad choice you lose one- and he didn't "get it" or care. The kid never had any to take home at the end of the day. Time out is ridiculous for behavior like this. There are days that he ends up just sitting on the couch because he just can't get along with anyone and I can't just keep putting him in the corner.
We shall see, but I think if I keep a detailed log---more work for me--- it will help them realize how bad things are. I partially blame myself for not "tattling" on more things, I suppose, but I am always honest and tell them if he had a rough day and always share the worst offenses. The kicker is, his dad is a correctional officer.
At least they actually sought help from someone. I suggested some books and many other things, but nothing seemed to stick. They both do shift work and have crazy schedules and unfortunately I think that is taking its toll. I did shift work before when my older girls were little, but stopped when my youngest was a few months old because it was just not going to work anymore.
Thanks for the input