Originally Posted by CountryRoads:
That's what I was thinking.
Do they not understand that it's unsanitary to have a child pee his pants in daycare? That there are other kids around? That I don't want to throw away a cot bed because a child peed in it? That it's unfair to expect me to clean up your child's pee over and over?
I think she's embarrassed because he's not trained yet and is trying to force it. I don't know if this affects anything, but she always makes threats to him. This morning it was "you're not going to get to see grandpa if you don't use the potty." I know she doesn't do anything with him at home about it. There was a 3 day weekend last week and I really hoped she would've worked with it on him if she really thinks he's ready. But instead she sent him to grandma's house. She told me that last night he went poop in the potty and she was so proud of him and she thinks he's finally getting it. But...she's been telling me for weeks that he is 100% trained at home 
Hence why I have a hard time believing her. I think I'm going to have to be blunt and tell her that he cannot come in underwear until he can verbally tell me he has to go here and consistently uses the potty as it's a sanitation issue.
Sorry about the rambling, but this has become a very frustrating situation.
She knows all of those things (bolded above) but they are YOUR problem not hers... kwim?
You can resort to using the $300 deposit policy if necessary. It really really really works.
It goes like this:
DCM:
"He is fully trained and ready to wear underwear"
You:
"Sounds good! I'll just need a $300 deposit first."
DCM:
"For what?"
You:
"I will use it for professional carpet cleaning if he has an accident on my carpet/furniture/rugs etc and if he is trained like you say and uses the toilet when prompted, necessary and/or reminded for two full weeks, I'll return the money."
DCM:
"Well, he better stay in Pull-ups or atleast have plastic coverings over them as maybe he isn't as fully there yet."
I've never had a parent take me up on it and every parent has back peddled and agreed to have their child wear Pull ups and/or plastic coverings until I say they're free to come in underwear only. Parents start taking my lead and stop sending them in underwear without discussing it with me first.