one piece of advice would be to make sure you praise her when she DOES do what she's told. she has to do the right thing SOMETIME, right? no matter WHAT it is - tell her, "thank you for doing what i asked. i like that," or even tell the whole "class" - look at suzy. she is using her walking feet, etc.

with the shoe incident.....what i would've done is gotten her shoes...gotten her...take her outside and made her sit WITH her shoes (not on her feet) right beside me. i'd tell her she's not playing until her shoes are on. if playtime is over and her shoes aren't on still (which is not likely) then i'd do the same thing inside...make her sit with her shoes until they're on. is it too cold to be without shoes? oh well. if her feet are cold, she'll put them on.

i know you might not have time to stay with her all the time, but sticking around during certain times like nap time or when she's in time out (times she's likely to run off) could solve the problem a lot quicker. don't be afraid to use your mean voice!

if she's running and you tell her to walk, MAKE her sit beside you - if you're doing something, sit her at your feet. if you're walking around, hold her hand and take her with you. MAKE her sit on the potty. i wouldn't typically recommend that, but for a child that's being defiant and has a pattern of "accidents" right after potty time, i sure would. she won't sit? "help her" sit. don't give up EVER. it sounds like people (not saying you) have thrown their hands up and let her get away with a lot. let her know that you won't and she'll stop.

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