Originally Posted by Crystal:
Okay Nanny...first, let me clarify. I did not say that I interview families and do not enroll those who would leave their children in care when they are not working. I said if YOU all have an issue with that, then you should not enroll clients who would do it. You can interview it out if you desire to. ( of course if you do that, then who will you have to talk crap about?)You simply ask a parent what their philosophy of parenting is....you can even give them a list of questions and insist they answer them, IF it is so important to you that parents ALWAYS keep their children with them when they are not working.
Yes, I do have clients that leave their kids with me when they are not working. If it was a habitual thing with a parent, it would bother me. If not, I could not care any less.
Now, regarding my post, that you actually saved and copied to your hard drive as it's from another forum, just in case you EVER needed some ammo against me (wow, I'm flattered) That post was in regard to one family with two children....it was in February. Yes, I had an issue with the Mom always being on her phone and not paying attention to her children, as it was causing behavioral issues with them here. I suppose, for people like you, I should have went back and posted in that thread the end result. I had a conversation with Mom. I told her that the lack of attention her children were recieving was effecting their behavior. I explained to her, that by simply providing them with an extra 10 one-on-one minutes upon arrival each day, that their behavior had made a complete turn around with me. She asked how I did it. I told her. She then began implementing the same practice with her children. Should I have to tell a parent that? No. But, some parents NEED to be told-wether it be due to ignorance or inconsiderateness-and I'm okay with that. THAT is the thing that I look for in an interview most: is a parent open to new ideas and approaches if their own are not working. If they are, then it's all good....unless it's an obviously "high maintenance" mom....in which case I make the interview short and sweet and do not enroll.
Re. the parent leaving her child here for 24 (oh gasp) days per year while she takes care of personal and family things. BFD....out of 365 days, I find that completely acceptable. She also takes her children on AWESOME vacations, spends every weekend with them doing many fun activities, picks up early for swim lessons, gymnastics ad tball. She's not neglecting her children, and she'd probably not give a rat's ass what you or I think about it. It's her choice as a parent to simplify her life when able and to allow her children to have fun here while she does things they would HATE participating in. You asked if she worked weekends earlier - no, she has a four day work week- she's a dentist and owns her own practice.
So, you can think I am wrong for having the opinion that parent's should be able to leave their kids here when they are off....and I can disagree with you. But that doesn't make either of wrong or right, we just have differing views on parenting. In the end, your opinion has absolutely zero effect on me. I run a thriving business and my parents absolutely love the fact that I am here for them and their children.
If you'd like to stalk me further, please feel free to join my forum, where you will see that that ONE post is most defintely the closet thing you will EVER see to me talking crap about parents the way you all do. Although, I probably wouldn't approve you....my forum stays fairly drama free, as, just like with my DCF, I SELECT who will be there - typically people with similiar philosphies of care, but who may also offer ideas and advice that are valuable to me, as well as other members.
As for you, Judy and promom, the only one's who "get it", you're all just a little to self-righteous for my tastes.
I'm done with this conversation and will not allow you to bait me into any more of your drama....just as the other day when you, even though I agreed with, chose to quote and argue with me over the same post three times in another thread....I hope it was enjoyable arguing with yourself when I chose to not respond.
Crystal,
You can't interview it out. Not even YOU can interview it out. You can try to ask questions about "philosophy" for hours and you still won't have a CLUE of whether or not they are going to shun their kid when their kid gets hard to take care of.
Also... if you have the experience and education you keep saying you have then how in Sam Hell do you think a newbie parent of a few weeks can even HAVE a parenting philosophy? That's silly and you know it. They don't have enough experience as parents to be able to project their "idea" of how they are parenting into something so important as spending quantity time with their kids.
Geesh... I took care of kids for twenty years before my ds was born and I didn't have a CLUE of what parenting was like until I became one. I knew HOW to take care of him but I sure didn't have enough knowledge of parenting to have a friggin philosophy.
It's also rediculous to suggest that someone who has just had a baby and been home with them 24/7 for a few months, and who is still under the influence of the body changes that go along with having a child and caring for a newborn is somehow going to relate to the idea that at some point this is going to be a HELLUVA lot harder. That person who doesn't have a day to day OPTION to choose to not be with their kid is going to KNOW what their decision will be when they DO have that option.
If you have the experience you say you have then you should recognize that the parent before you in the interview may well be a totally different kind of parent six months later. They LOOK a lot alike when they are sitting on your couch as a new parent. They don't look so much alike two years down the road.
You are doing a HUGE diservice to providers that come on here to learn about day care from experienced and educated providers when you suggest that YOU are able to read people and TELL. You have current and past clients who leave their kids in day care when they don't need day care. You have chosen to not care about it becuase you wouldn't have a business if your care turned into action... meaning you wouldn't have them as clients.
There's no magic formula. There's no "reading" people. Providers shouldn't feel like they just can't DRAW the "right" clients because they end up with half or more of their clients shunning their kids a few months into the kids care. You suggest YOU can draw them but your words very clearly show that you can't. You may have SOME cleints that keep their kids the majority of the time they have personal time but you have NOT built your business upon it. You have done what most successful providers do... meaning you are just the same... You have decided that the issue brought to us by the OP is no big deal. You don't care. You think it's okay. That's very different from saying you don't deal with it year after year just like everyone else does. You choose to react to it in a way that allows your business to survive.
This is a serious societal issue. It's a very difficult thing for providers to deal with. The longer you are in business the more you see it become a societal norm. That's not in the kids best interest. It's in the businesses best interest but not the kids. Let's be real with new providers and tell them the truth. The truth is that you WILL run into this most likely within the first few months you are caring for kids. The truth is that it will bug the hell out of you and you will feel really bad for the kids. The truth is that if you refuse to care for kids when their parents can spend time with them but don't you will have a lot of conflict in your business. If you say NO to it you will be deceived into believing they need care when they don't.
You have to come to a realization that this IS a part of this business and it's a sucky part of it. Your chances of having a good sized day care and having every parent using your services only when they need it for work is slim to none. It's something you have to come to terms with if you are going to do this as a career.
As far as stalking you... hee hee.. I love that.
I found out about your board thru this board. Whenever I find a child care board I read the archives. I read every page of this board before I joined. I read every page of Judy's board before I joined. I'm currently reading Childfun's archives and am up to page 163!!!!!! It may be a couple of years before I join that one cuz they have like 500 pages of posts.
I started to read yours and ran into that post (and a few others of the same vein by the way... it's not just one). I saved it BEFORE I posted a link to it because I KNEW you would cut off guests as soon as I posted it. And so you did..
I don't think you are telling the truth. I think that post is the truth. I have been doing this long enough to smell someone advertising themselves as "teachers, mentors, trainers, evaluators" and providers. I know an ad when I see one. You are using this board to advertise your business. When you advertise your business you put words in the advertisements that will draw CUSTOMERS.
You have a nice body of ads here and anyone interested in hiring you will surely hear what you want them to hear. It sells to parents and maybe even to businesses that may consider paying you for services.
It doesn't sell to seasoned providers but then again seasoned providers aren't your customers.
You don't fool me and I am guessing I'm not alone.