I grew up in a family where if I crossed the line, there were most definitely consequences. I know all too well how much it stinks to have to go out and find a switch for my mom to whoop my butt. I can count on one hand the number of times that my dad has spanked me and each and every time I learned the lesson that I was meant to learn. My dad never spanked me for the same thing twice. I was actually really well behaved for him! I knew that he meant what he said and he would always follow through. Things were different with my mom. We had a different relationship dynamic and I was always pressing my luck with her. She was a yeller (which I was always able to ignore) and she had a tendency to let me off the hook if I whined about it enough. It was that inconsistency that made me think that there was always a chance that I could get away with whatever I was doing. It was always a crap shoot and sometimes I gambled and lost. When I did, the punishment was always really rough, whether it was a pretty intense spanking with whatever she could get to first or a ridiculously long grounding. I didn't respond to my mom's attempts at discipline because there were no clear and concise consequences for my actions. My dad never, ever bluffed and as a result, I knew that there would definitely be consequences for my actions.

I have the same mentality with my daughter and with my daycare kids. I'm consistent. I don't give repeated warnings and chance after chance because I know that I'm only making the problem bigger if I do that. I'm firm but fair. I don't respond to tears and pleading. I'm not mean or heartless, I just know when a kid is using the drama to get out of trouble. I recognize it because I did it to my mom when I was a little kid.

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