Originally Posted by Jack Sprat:
We are going to ask if they would like to do this. I think their thinking in having them both come on the same day is it gives their grandfather a break. But, we are still going to ask..
But, what Grandpa may not realize is that having ONE of them at a time may improve their behavior significantly. They need one-on-one attention, and bonding with him, each on their own terms, may actually pay off.
On that note, you making them your one-on-one friend may backfire if you're using it as a consequence for negative behavior. I would dial it back as a consequence, and instead use it as a positive. Ask them to be your helper (BEFORE they are naughty). Play up what awesome helpers they are, how they are so capable, etc. LOTs of positive attention. I would probably make being your little helper/buddy the default, and getting to play independently the exception. Wait until they ASK to go play with xx. Then, you can say "well, you've been such a good helper to me, I hate to loose you. But, sure, if you think you can handle playing gently, of course you can".
I had twins her (and 2 older sibs) that I ended up terming. They are 3 1/2 now and I still hear stories, unfortunately. I really think I could have made a huge impact if I'd been able to get the older 2 out of here, and perhaps had some way to break up the twins at least part of the time.
I've also noticed that some kids really do better if you almost treat them like little adults. It's not my favorite...I love seeing them really play independently. But, some kids just thrive when they are given "work" to do. It's like if they can't use their powers for good, they WILL use them for evil!