Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I feel like this is definitely an underlying issue at the heart of complicating my request. I've lurked around the forums for awhile and have noticed that this is a big issue between providers and parents. Providers are often insulted at the lack of trust parents give and aggravated at the over-bearing that follows due to this lack of trust. I suppose in a way I can understand but mostly I don't understand, particularly when the child is new. I know my asking to stay after the provider has had her a couple of times could be interpreted like a demotion in a way, but that is not what it is at all! It has nothing to do with whether I trust her or not. I want to make this transition as easy for my lg as possible and abruptly leaving her alone with a total stranger for long periods of time seems like it would be much more difficult for her then if I were there for awhile to acclimate her to the new environment. I also think it would help my lg to see me interact with the provider. This seems to me a difference of philosophy, not one of trust. But I think inevitably it would feel like a slight.
It would be confusing to your child of who is in charge, and would interfere with the bonding of the provider and child. Things are not the same at daycare as they are at home. If you want that kind of care, your best to find a nanny-
You sound like you did your homework, you looked for a good provider, checked references from other parents that have been in your providers care or personal references if this care provider is just starting out. Now you have to trust that you made a good choice for your little one and give it time to work out. No provider wants a Mom to hang out for hours and for several reasons. Your instinct will direct you. You may be the type of Mom that just can't be away from her kid and that is ok. Daycare is not for you. Has nothing to do with the child, its more your issues. I will say home and daycare are two different things. No one will replace you as the Mom, no one will do things exactly the same as you do, smell the same way you do, have the same mannerisms etc....
If I could not communicate with the provider, I wouldn't leave my child there. Yes I would love the fact that the child could be bilingual but I would want the provider to be able to communicate with me well enough for me to understand first.
Everyone's needs are different. Having been in this business for a very long time I see that your best interest would be hiring a nanny or mothers helper, for the type of services that you would like. I also picture you as a first time Mom with a big learning curve ahead of you. I also see that your are a caring, loving concerned Mom. I wish you the best-
one more thing, the best way to drop a child off is to do it fast, not only for you but for the child. Give your child a kiss, I love you, I will see you soon. You will be helping the child in the long run to be well adjusted and know that they are ok when you can't be together. It stinks as a parent to do this, you don't want to hear your little angel cry. For some kids they cry everyday, every morning. Key is that they don't cry all day. They are happy for most of the day. Having a provider that would tell you if your child was crying all day everyday is important. Most providers would tell you this, they don't want a child in their care that is miserable all day long or could have a possible underlying illness. Your child will cry through out the day, that is normal. Crying is a good thing believe it or not- it strengthens the vocal muscles and other muscles that aid with talking later down the line. Crying out of pain is not or need is not ok. You really have to give a provider a good chance and be ok within yourself to leave your precious with someone other then you. If you can't do that, if you can't do that- it is ok!