I need to tell you a story about making a difference. About 14 years ago, we left the farm and moved to the big city. We bought a house in an inner city neighborhood undergoing "revitalization". We were the only white family on our entire block, but everyone took us into the community and it was a great period of our lives. One of the 4 year old neighbor boys adopted us. Seriously, he came straight to our house after school and stayed until it got dark. He would have spent the night but I was a little nervous about that. He had a stay at home mom, a grandma across the street, and an aunt up the street, but he liked us. All of these houses were full of kids and people and noise and chaos. It was very casual parenting--sort of "foods in the fridge when you get hungry and clothes are piled in the floor in the laundry room-go find something to wear". I was the one who noticed that he couldn't hear in one ear or see as well as he should. I taught him to read because he wasn't getting it at school and no one at home gave him the extra help he needed. We read every day, even when he didn't want to (and that was always). We struggled and we struggled, but we read. He was a storyteller. I listened to his stories--long, long stories--
when he was 4, and when he was 8, I read each and every story he brought me. I spelled words for him..hundreds of words. We moved away and for a couple of years, we kept in touch. He outgrew us and the contact ended. Two weeks ago, he got in touch with us. He's all grown up now, and one of the first things he said was "You taught me to read". All these years later, all the home cooked meals, all the play, all the other things, that's what he remembered. I cried. I always knew he would be a writer if he could ever learn to write what he had in his head. I was close, he's a lyricist, getting ready to go back to school and study music producing.
You matter to this little boy. The secret in teaching is to remember the failures only long enough to try to correct them. If you showed him red 50 times and he still doesn't get it, remember that he did learn table manners from you. You didn't fail, you just aren't seeing the exact result you are looking for yet. For every detail you haven't achieved, if you look, you will see several things you did teach him. And don't give up. There is a trigger in that little head that will suddenly click in and the thing you've worked on will become clear. It may not be while you are with him, and he may not know you planted that little bit of knowledge, but you are laying foundations. One of the hardest parts of teaching, whether they are 2 or 12, is remembering that you can't stuff knowledge into their little heads. All you can do is plant seeds. Even if they lie dormant for years, you've done your job.
Finally, remember our motto-you can't save them all. Would you think this would be a candidate for some sort of early intervention?
I hope that you change your mind. I haven't made a lot of friends on here yet, but I hate to think of losing a potential one. We have so much to learn from each other. Sometimes, I think that we, as providers, aren't that far removed from the little ones--we all learn so much from each other every day.