I just do a schedule. I tell myself ALL the time "you can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink". Drop off starts at 8:45. I take kids right after breakfast (around 9). Then at about 10:45 (when I start working on lunch) . Then at 12:45ish right before nap. Then right when they wake up. I just find it but I be less of a headache to do a schedule and I don't care if they need to go or don't go. I just have them try and try not to stress about it. They'll get it when they're ready. I don't allow undies until there's no accidents but if a parent pushes I will compromise by letting them wear undies under their diaper/pull up.

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