Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I thought about it after I wrote the question and I should have asked if it is common to do group toilet breaks throughout the day- without adding in my story (as conclusions can be jumped to). Thank you for all those who took the time to respond.
And no.... I don’t expect the childcare provider to take him every 20 minutes. We are way beyond that point. I did that when I was first training him. I do have experience with children, multiple children too. I was a professional nanny for over 20 years. I have trained many children throughout this time.. My son is potty trained. He tells me (or his dad, or his grandmother when he has to go). We just took a flight to the UK (where we are now on holiday) and he has told all of his immediate family members when he has to go.... He is surely potty trained. I didn’t even question that the provider has him wear a pull up. It says in her handbook that the child will wear a pull up until they are two weeks dry. That is a complete NON issue. I understand he can’t go wetting on her floor (he doesn’t poop at daycare- he has held that in since he was 2, waiting until he arrives home). I was just wondering if it was normal for a younger three to be completely on their own when it comes to the toilet. I was just wondering what the consensus was. And you know the difference a year makes in a child’s development, so it is hard to compare to a 4 year old.
My son is introverted and it is really hard for him to speak up in a louder environment. We are a house of introverts, actually. The positive is that he is a good listener and is very calm, easy going. The downside is, he has a hard time speaking up. I was not asking the provider to take him every 20 minutes or even every hour. I was only asking if she sees him doing a dance (I didn’t ask her, she told she sees him doing the dance and misses him- because it is busy), if she could tell him to go to the toilet. And I asked her is she could send him every so often- which really just means before lunch, nap, or whenever it is convenient. And he does hold it for hours, so he doesn’t have a need to go every 20 minutes.
And when I asked her if some time has passed, if she could send him to the toilet (he can do everything on his own, he just needs a stool to hop on the toilet), she said the baby kept her busy- as he is starting to walk.
I just thought it was a strange response, when you are responsible for the well being of all 6 children. And no, there is not any hidden issues or animosity that someone may be hoping to find.
Regular potty breaks through out the day is common in most child care programs that I am familiar with.
I don't take anyone to the bathroom but we certainly have times during the day where everyone has the opportunity to use the bathroom during times we transition from one activity to another.
The kids are also free to use the bathroom when they feel the need to, on their own without asking me. They just go in and do their thing.
I do agree with you that your provider is responsible for ALL children in care and in my opinion what you are asking isn't that big of a deal...
I remind kids to get a tissue when I see them picking their nose, I remind them to cover their mouth when coughing/sneezing, I remind them to keep their hands to themselves, to use their words and not their hands, to play nicely or to clean up or settle down etc. I also praise positive behaviors I see throughout the day so it is absolutely not outside the realm of possibilities for your provider to prompt your child to use the bathroom if he is doing the potty dance. Her response was odd in my opinion as well.
I don't know but it almost feels like your providers response wasn't really about reminding your son or about her being busy with her nephew/infant (at 7 months, they can entertain themselves while she provides for the others and don't require being held the entire day). It almost feels like maybe she just didn't like being asked/told to do something...kind of like a power struggle for control.
I've seen many providers react with resistance to a parent simply because of issues with control or "who's in charge" type feelings. Hoping that makes sense.
Wondering however, what was the issue that occurred that led up to you and your provider having this discussion? How did you ask her to remind your child or rather what was the question? What was the conversation between you two that this came to light?