OP,
You answered your own question.

It sounds to me like you feel that your dd is not thriving there, and the provider is not the one for her.

There is no answer but to put in your notice, and find other care.

$$ aside, you have to do what's best for your child, and sometimes, that's the hardest part of being a mother.

Just do it, and get it over with. Then all of this back and forth and trying to decide will be a done deal, and you won't have so many worries on your plate on top of everything else.

And I really would not necessarily go seeking information from other parents. What is the point? You already know what needs to be done.

Just make sure you give proper notice (as there is no abuse going on- a provider's opinion on your child's behavior being abnormal is not a cause for concern), and make sure you're all paid up for what you use/notice period.

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