Originally Posted by e.j.:
I had a dcm who was very controlling in regard to what/how much her baby ate. I didn't realize how much so until the day I fed her very hungry/very miserable baby an extra tablespoon of oatmeal. I thought I was doing the right thing by the baby. She (the baby) calmed right down and was a different kid after she had had enough to eat! I told dcm what I had done and explained that I thought she just needed a little more to eat. Dcm was upset and made it clear I was not to give her any additional food because, as the dcm told me, the baby had food allergies. (She'd never mentioned that previously.) Things eventually came to a head. They decided to leave my care and I was happy to see them go.
A couple of years later, I had enrolled another little girl in my care. Her mom told me she had a best friend who was looking for day care and asked if I would be willing to speak with her. The friend turned out to be Food-Police Mom! She apologized to me for what happened and asked if I would consider taking them back. She explained that dcg didn't really have food allergies. She explained that she had grown up in a family of very heavy women and she, herself, was very heavy before she got married. She and her husband were very concerned that dc baby would grow up to be overweight, too, so they were very careful about what she ate. We talked things through and I did take them back. There were a few hiccups along the way but we worked them out. I loved the kid but can't say I missed the parents after they finally left!
The truly sad thing is that the other dcm and I ran into each other a few years after the kids had aged out. During our conversation, I asked how Food Police Mom was doing and she told me she had no idea; they were no longer friendly. She explained that she had invited ex-dcg to a birthday party for her own dd and when she mentioned she was serving pizza for lunch, she was told she could give ex-dcg (who was then about 8 years old) a slice. When the ex-dcg said she was still hungry and asked for a second slice, she gave her one. When she mentioned to Food Police Mom that she gave her dd a second slice, FPM went ballistic, words were exchanged and FPM ended their 16 year friendship - over a slice of pizza. Sad!
Ok, so I’m not alone! This is the first food police experience I’ve ever had! I think I’ve tried so hard to give her the benefit of the doubt; first time mom, baby born during pandemic, no family in the area, no grandparents... I just felt sorry for her and tried to avoid any sort of awkward conversation or confrontation. Plus she has been insisting her milk is “high calorie” and her pediatrician agrees she’s giving him plenty. Like I mentioned- he’s a Big Baby for 10 months. I’m positive they’re giving him much more to eat/drink at home, because there is no way he’d sleep through the night on the amount they are supplying me for the 9 hours he’s here! She suggested “pacing” the bottles for the first 6 months which involved him gulping down tons of air each time i stopped the flow, and then told me to add an ounce or 2 of water to his bottle when he turned 9 months if he seemed extra fussy. I told her absolutely not, and I’d only serve water in a sippy cup. She’s made comments about “avoiding obesity” many times when I’d tell her he’s still hungry. Similar to your situation with the little girl you watched. I’m wondering if that’s also a factor.