Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
You are %100 correct and what to advice is how I have handeled it in the past. When dad called and asked why did you tell DCM such and such I would say I did not know it was a secert or she asked and DCB is her child so I told her ect.
I just do not whant to have that conversation during DCD'd last 2 weeks
Because, DCM is going to take DCD to court and try to order him to keep DCB in my care during his days. I did not learn of this untill last week when DCD got caught in a lie about wither or not I was closed or open on the friday berfore memorial day.
I doubt there is a judge that will order dad to keep her in the same daycare on his days unless mom has sole physical custody. It's not right, but that's family court for you.
And unfortunately it sounds like like it or not it is a conversation you're going to have to have. It'll be better to come up with a plan of how you'll respond instead of just hoping you won't have to. Sounds like this guy loves confrontation, chaos and control. Being prepared to respond to him is going to be your best bet.
I'd fire off mom an email (if that's how you communicate) right now.
If dad brings it up while dcg is present I'd squash it immediately with a "We can discuss this at a more appropriate time if you'd like but I refuse to allow any disrespect towards me or in regards mom in front of the child."
If he calls or emails later I'd keep things short and repeat if necessary, "Why did you feel you could keep that from her? I guess I had assumed as the child's mother you would have informed her of such a major change. I personally am required by law to communicate with both custodial parents. The child will need a new car seat and if you feel the need to neglect informing her mother of her changing needs someone has to."