Originally Posted by judytrickett:
Sadly, yes, it is becoming the norm.
Should it be the "norm"? NO! Is the "norm" always the "right"? NO!
Do their kids pick up on this? YES! Will their kids grow up to understand that their parents really didn't want to spend time with them? YES!
Is this selfish parenting? ABSOLUTELY!
No its not selfish parenting at all. In fact taking time to focus on one another is often in the best intersted of the kids. Lots of studies show that parents who take the time to connect with one another have a much better family dynamic than those who do not. Unfortently the OP was not refercing what you are throughout the entire post. She is asking about a vacation. Nothing is mentioned about weeks upon weeks like you are assume.
Originally Posted by tmcp2001:
! Another thing - since when is it a bad thing for children to have other adults love and care for them occasionally? I'm so incredibly thankful to have my parents, sisters, in-laws and sisters-in-law and yes, when I was working our DCP, around to help us with our four children! I think my kids are incredibly lucky to be growing up so close to their extended family!
It is actually quite healthy for children to see how other people live. It only contiunes to foster their ideas of familys and what a family means, and what a family does. Want examples. Look at children who are taken from their parents and placed into foster care...and yes My family has had real life experice on this end as my parents are foster parents. The kids have contacted my parents and made comments about how they learend how to truly be a family and what it means....While they didnt come from the worst of worst home, they realized what a true family is.
Originally Posted by judytrickett:
Let's face it. What we ALL know we are talking about here are parents who have 4,6,8 or even more PAID vacation weeks a year and never, ever spend a single one of those days with their kids but dump them in daycare instead. We all see it all the time these days.
I DO think there CAN be a balance but I'm personally not seeing that balance. Here's what I see happening.....
Parents are on paid vacation and decide to stay home but bring their kids to daycare every...single...day of that time off from the minute the provider opens to the minute they close.
Parents on paid vacation who chose to go away. They leave the kids with grandma for the week and grandma brings the kids to daycare all week long.
hell, now I even see parents with two weeks off over CHRISTMAS who bring their kids every freaking day the provider is open. I mean, seriously, if you can't even spend time with your kids on what, for them, is one of the most magical times of childhood then yes, I WILL deem them selfish.
As with anything in life no one falls into the 100% category of anything. But there are PLENTY of parents out there who fall into the 99% category.
I have had kids in care whose parents pay on time, are never late, follow the policies, would NEVER think to send their kid sick to care. But those SAME parents (whom any provider would thank their lucky stars to have) never, in the 3 or 4 years their kids were in care spent a SINGLE vacation day with them.Now, how is THAT not selfish?I think that what people HERE on this forum need to remember is that for the most part, because we stay at home with our kids WE see the importance of our PRESENCE in their daily lives. We do NOT fall into the 99% club.
Sorry lady, but you dont know my families nor how I run my daycare. My families first off dont get that large amounts of vacation. In fact one company pulled all paid vacation and told them if they want one, they get it unpaid. Can they afford taking an unpaid vacation? Nope they sure cant.
Should the single mom who ended up being put on medical leave for 6 weeks for an issue have not brought her kid to daycare and stayed home with her. Absolutly she should have...it was in her best intersted to get healthy and stable in order to get everything back into order. Did she bring her to daycare...... yes. Had she not brought her she would not be where is right now. She is currently on vacation with her child in another state.
Originally Posted by judytrickett:
Because most people have fragile egos. 
They care about other people's opinions of them and therefore assume, wrongly most of the time, that any comment is therefore directed at them. Then they get defensive.
SO its okay to start name calling? Judy I thought we were all adults talking about our opinnions here.
Originally Posted by emosks:
It sounds to me like most of you who do talk about parents like this need to find a new profession...or new families. I guess we are just so blessed to have such awesome families that are nothing like what you all describe.
I forget....you and a few others on the board are always right! DUH! What was I thinking?
I agree and if we dont agree with their thoughts than we dont know anything..
Originally Posted by judytrickett:
Okay, so no research then. Gotcha!
You failed to provide your own. You mention others work they have shown but not your own...interesting.
Originally Posted by judytrickett:
And then you came and made it personal about YOU. It wasn't about YOU. YOU made it that way.
Emosks did not make her postings herself at all. She simply was stating an example that happend in her daycare...GET OVER YOUR SELF your using your situtaion as basis for all and thats not how it is sorry.