Could a high conflict, keep away, mother be the reason why the father is not in his life?

If so they were probably minimizing risk by keeping mothers friend out. Godfather is not a legal title, it does not give familial rights. Most places don't even allow mothers new boyfriend, either, much less mothers special orbiter friend. The typical invitation says father, grandfather, or uncle for inclusion.

Has his father tried to see him at the daycare and the mother refused?

If they were never married, she easily could block him until he filed for a court-ordered DNA test to prove paternity and demand parenting rights. That is separate from child support. Many fathers are unaware of this right and assume if they can't pay, they can't see their kid. It isn't true.

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