Originally Posted by gonecrazy:
I have a two year old daycare child who is having trouble lately. He has no routine where his home life is concerned and has been very clingy to Mom lately (he doesn't spend much time with her because of her schedule). The last two weeks he comes in and immediately launches into a tantrum at the thought of her leaving. I have to physically take him for her to leave. She doesn't drag it out, she is good about just going when I take him.
This one doesn't worry me toooo much by itself. Some kids just are good at pitching fits at separation.
Then we spend the next three or four hours with him doing nothing. He will just sit in the floor and stare. If I tell him to get out toys and play he will get up and move to another spot, sit down and do nothing. No amount of encouraging him to play works.
This worries me. It seems so unnatural to not play. Is there anything he likes to play with? Do you have a variety of interest centers? How about water table? Blocks? Cars? Trains? Balls? Does he like bubbles?
He never knows from day to day who is picking him up so he asks me no less than 100 times a day who is coming to get him. Over and over and over again. Telling him yes, mommy will come after work doesn't work. He just keeps asking...over and over and OVER!
I would quit answering after a few times of this. It's getting nowhere for either of you. Instead, maybe try giving a different kind of comfort. Does he like stories read to him? Songs?
He has also started not eating. He just stares at his plate and says "I don't like it!" even when it's food that he has eaten many times.
This almost sounds like depression or sign of feeling stress.
This past weekend Mom took him on a trip with her. Yesterday was absolute hell here.
How was he on the trip with mom?
Was there any behavior?
He launched into a horrible tantrum when she tried to leave. It got so bad that he ended up kicking me in the stomach. He sat and did nothing all morning. He asked who was coming over and over. He cried off and on all morning and finally begged to take a nap at 10:30. And I let him! This morning it's the same thing. Tantrum, crying, asking who is coming, crying, sitting doing nothing, crying, begging for a nap. I am at a loss with him. If I try to get down and play with him he just cries because it's not what he wants. My nerves are frayed to say the least. I have never had a child who cried over a parent leaving or sat and cried all day and have never had a 2 year old (or any child for that matter) who just sat and refused to play. Any ideas on how to help him get through this phase? And Lord, I really hope it's just a phase LOL!
This was a lot to read through, but I'm wondering if he's really showing signs of stress. And the softie/no routine/not seeing mom much thing can really contribute to the stress. Not having consistency can really mess kids up. Who is/are his authority figures? No routine sounds like he would be feeling insecure. He should have the sense of security of knowing that someone with more brain power than him is in charge and setting the boundaries. He doesn't have that.
It sounds like it's horrible for you. Maybe the best thing you could do is tell them that you feel like the lack of consistency is seriously affecting the child's behavior when with you.