Originally Posted by littlemommy:
I'm in a bind with this. I don't want to scare the parents away. His dad's mother had been watching him since birth, but she fell and hurt her hip so that's why they looked into daycare. His dad did NOT want him in daycare. He (kind of rudely) said in the beginning that his mother would be okay enough to watch him, but his gf (the boy's mother) wanted him to be in daycare for socialization. I don't want to step on the parent's toes and tell them he may have an underlying problem. According to them, he's fine at home. Or at least they act that way.
I have asked if he eats at home. Mom said he is not a good independent eater, but he does eat. His constant runny poop does not tell me that he's eating ANYTHING at home besides milk and rice cereal. I would think the rice cereal would bind it up a little more, but I guess not if he only gets liquids.
He has 2 half siblings that are 11 and 15, but they do not live with him. He is an only child. I wonder if his lack of participation in everything stems from his previous lack of socialization. If grandma was watching him, she may have been the one that pushed the bottle, because it was easier for her. Who knows.
I guess I'm just really hesitant to say anything to the parents. I know it may be in the best interest of the child, but if they act like everything is fine they wouldn't follow thru with anything anyways. I've seen this happen before, where DCP suggests therapy and parent gets upset and denies.
I am going to give them a revised copy of my contract (made a late payment charge, and stated I will not hold spots) and add a typed note referring to the food program not allowing bottles. I guess if they get that upset about it they can leave. I won't be too upset.
Sounds like dad may be avoiding allowing others exposure to him b/c of the potential for neglect like your fodd program person mentioned.
I would get tough and say no bottles. If he doesnt eat/drink at your house then so be it. Exposing him to the opportunity to eat like a typical 22month/2 yr old (with spoons and forks etc) is important even if he doesn't take to it right away.
I would call your local early intervention/public health and ask them to come out and eval him right away. Some can come out and give you advice on what you can do at daycare without moms consent. If you want it to go any further though you will need mom to get on board with seeking professional help/opinions. I think by mom saying she wants him in daycare she is attempting to let others into her world and is maybe trying to see if anyone thinks there are issues.
I would not allow the 11yr old at daycare and I NEVER ALLOW ANYONE AT DAYCARE TO PICK UP OTHER KIDS. No siblings even. Asking for trouble there.
By being clear about what you see and what concerns you the family might pull him out and you will be left to wonder if he ever got the help he needed. That is VERY hard. I have had that happen a number of times. Letting the child be is worse. Address specifically what you think is going on, provide mom with numbers/agencies, and a plan for what you intend to do to support this child at daycare (including feeding him like a 2 yr old). See what comes of it.