I'm also sorry this has all happened to you and your wife. I can't say how to help because not knowing your area, your demand, etc., etc., every area is different and unique in its offerings and needs.
Has your local resource agency been any support at all? What about connecting up with other local providers?
A lot of people look to opening daycare as an easy way to make money and as you've found out, it clearly is not. I'm not saying you thought it was easy but someone led you to many misconceptions. It sounds like it's time to rethink your path and find something that would be less exhausting and draining.
I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time finding dcfs. What if you looked to filling a particular niche, such as infant only care or offering an open house? Without knowing what you and other local providers offer, as far as rates, curriculum, etc., offer it's truly hard to know where to begin. I wish you the very best and hope life gets smoother for you.

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