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Old 03-07-2012, 05:05 PM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 7,292

Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Hi. I have read all these posts and a million others recently as my child has started biting. I am totally appalled by the hatred adults are showing to small children in regard to this issue. We're talking about young children who are not developmentally able to control their behaviors. Furthermore, the poor parents of biters are shamed and made to feel like its their fault that their child bites and there is virtually never an acknowledgment of the circumstances regarding the bite. Of course, it bother me that my child is harming other children. I worry about it all the time. My toddler's behavior is the biggest source of stress in my life at the moment. We've spoken to her doctor and any other expert we can find. They all agree that biting happens and it is typically outgrown. We've tried every method we can find and with no success. She bit the same child about 7 times in a year. She was expelled two weeks ago and we found out when I picked her up and she was scratched and bruised that the child she bites has been pinching, hitting and pushing her repeatedly. According to the staff every biting incident has been provoked, yet my child has to leave and the one beating her up gets to stay.

My point, is simply to say that many biters are provoked and for some reason we elect to dismiss hitting, pinching and kicking as normal kid stuff, but once a child bites even in self-defense parents start talking about them like animals.

BTW, I have 3 other children, all of who were bitten in preschool. I didn't have a fit about it. I know they're in preschool and that it's developmentally normal for kids that age to bite. If she bit at home, I would discipline her for it at home, but only bites at preschool, never at home or church in any other setting.
I find this post disturbing on so many levels. I can't believe you allowed your kid to attend a classroom where you KNEW there was another child there she targeted SEVEN times over a course of a year. Did you not think it was important for you to protect the safety and well being of that other child? What were you thinking? The center shouldn't have had to tell you to leave.. you should have done that on your own to protect that poor defenseless little one your daughter kept biting. At what point do you feel responsible because you continued to subject that poor child to your child's biting?

Every "expert" you have consulted are telling you it's "normal" because that's what you want to hear and that's what makes them the most amount of money the fastest or gets you off the phone or out of their office the fastest. If they tell you something is definitely wrong with your kid because she is lashing out with biting then you will STAY to discuss or continue to discuss.

I keep reading posts like yours but I don't have it at all in my child care. I have had one bite in 18.5 years of doing in home care and that bite was 17.5 years ago. I have raised many "normal" children and haven't had biting. I have kids in my care who have been here for three, four, five years and they have never once bitten or been bitten. How do I go year after year.. nearly two decades without seeing it at all and it is normal?

If kids are properly supervised, disciplined, and have excellent care (sleep, nutrition, love, attention, exercise etc.) they don't bite each other. They don't get physical with each other. It can be done. I've done it year after year after year.

Keep telling yourself it's normal and you will keep getting booted out of day cares. Next time, think about the poor child on the receiving end of your child's biting and please don't let it go on for a year. Think about the OTHER kids. Do what you have to do to protect them even if it means keeping your own child home and with you.
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