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treehugger82 06:12 PM 03-09-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
Yes he is the youngest with a huge age gap of 11 years. His parents remArried and had this child together much later in their life. The parents are very overwhelmed by it. They have tried the same. He is not new to my DC he's been here for about a year.

I'm interested why you asked about the age gap?? Do you have a suggestion regarding the age difference? I would love to hear about it if so.
It was just a hunch Not uncommon behavior for a child/family with that dynamic, although I hate to sound like that. I don't know if the "knowing why" helps your situation, however, bear in mind that, as I said before, this behavior is being reinforced at home, so breaking it at your house is not impossible, just harder. YOU will have to be sure that he does not get a pay off for behaving that way. In his house, he is obviously treated as an only, even thoug he is not, he is still in that position as a child who is so much younger than his older sib. Is this happening all of the sudden or has it always been there to some degree? It's not an uncommon thing for children to try out their defiance wings at this age, but if parents are not putting a nix on it, it will only get stronger. The anger/defiance you are seeing may be a result of their household being run by him, not the parents. As much as parents don't want to believe it, children WANT boundaries and limits. They want to feel safe, led in the right direction, NOT like they have to be in charge. He is taking charge b/c the parents are not. He will continue to feel angry and not know why, but it is most likely b/c his parents refuse to be in charge, and so therefore, he has to be, yet there is no way for him to have the knowledge or tools necessary. That's why he has parents.
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