Originally Posted by Play Care:
I'm not talking about disabilities, necessarily. I have had several very strong willed kids go through my program. They've certainly given me a run for my money, but they've never raised a hand or foot to me.
It seems as though the times I've heard of kids hitting caregivers, there is usually a lot more to the story - maybe they run the show at home and the parents let them/are intimidated by them or their behavior. Maybe hitting is how things are handled within the home. Maybe the caregiver's discipline methods are TOO gentle for that child. Perhaps there are spectrum issues or another diagnosis. Perhaps it's a combination of factors. I just know that I won't entertain that on my time.
Here's your standing ovation. WHY OH WHY is this now socially acceptable? I had a 4.5yo dcb throw a tantrum so severe (at home!) that the neighbors called the police and dcb threatened the officer who tried to speak to him!
I REALLY feel that it's because Mom is too gentle. Everything is a choice, everything has a reward attached, everything is said in a sing song voice.
At his dads house and here? We don't play. "NO." said firmly, and a stern look stops him dead in his tracks. What he says about his mother? He has ZERO respect for her.
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Um wow. For lack of better words, these aren't "off" behaviors. These are bratty behaviors of a child who is used to running the show and getting exactly what THEY want despite anyone else's feelings.
Sounds to me like they've never faced any type of rules or boundaries and when anyone attempts, they lash out because they aren't used to being told no. The lashing out works somewhere therefore, it's continued to be used as a method of gaining what they want.
Basically, they've never been taught no. In my opinion, it has nothing to do with maturity and everything to do with the parent and their willingness to set those boundaries and more importantly follow through with them.
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
Would your answer change if the DCK in question was 18 months? I have a little bugger that I just can't get a handle on. I get kicked constantly when I'm trying to change his diaper, and he gets majorly ticked off if I don't actually let him kick me. If I pick him up to remove him from a situation, he'll try to hit me. I usually respond with an extreamly firm NO, while grabbing the offending hand. He is very agressive, and I'm all out of ideas.
He's part of a full time sibling set. Full time kids are almost impossible to find, so I'm just waiting it out, but I really just dread every morning with him 
What do the parents say? How does he behave at pick up and drop off? I would want a solid, age appropriate behavioral plan in place and see consistent improvement for him to stay. If you can't stop it at 18m, you won't be able to stop it at 2.5. These things don't improve unless something changes.