Do you know what happens at home? Is he in underwear or naked whenever he is not at daycare? Do his parents give him logical consequences such as having him clean his own mess (with their eventual final clean, of course]?

Does he understand what’s happening? I had a child peeing against my counter saying “no, I no have to pee” and I knew we were a long way from having it click.

Rewards can work if the child just needs a boost. If the child CAN do it (has the understanding and demonstrated ability to hold) and is making a choice not to go, then a consequence for making that choice (losing something) may be more effective. He can continue to choose not to use the toilet (even though doing so is age-appropriate at four, barring mental or physical issues), but that choice needs to make the dilemma HIS.

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