I just downloaded BlackCat's Probation notice, it's so... exactly what I need. But I sort of feel like I don't deserve to hand that to someone, maybe that doesn't make sense. I'm just not authoritative in any way and I can only imagine myself handing this to someone to sign in a parallel universe. I will have to gain some confidence by starting off on the right foot with contracts and rulebooks like everyone has mentioned. You're all so organized and efficient, I'm very impressed and have a lot to learn!

I think at this point the tone has been set with this family, and I'd be better off saying that it's not working out. This morning she showed up early and knocked, I didn't hear it but I heard 4 y/o yell "someone's here!" (he's the watchdog lol) So I came out and before I could unlock the door she started pounding on it, then looked into the window and I could see she looked angry. I opened the door, she started pushing her way in and said very rudely "he has to pee!" I have no idea why she was angry with me that he had to pee, but she lives maybe 5-6 blocks away from me, so that means she didn't make him go before they left, and she had him in thick denim jeans and regular underwear after I told her he and I can't get them off fast enough and he needs either training underwear or diapers. Then he didn't pee. Then she sat in my house for 15 minutes. She also announced that she cut his nails, like she had done me a huge favor by cutting her child's nails, I just said thank you.

They're paid out until next Friday, I think I'll wait until this Friday to talk to her when she picks him up? And tell her that the unpredictable schedule and late nights are affecting my kid's schedule, which is true, and if she probes anymore I can tell her as politely as possible that his behavior is costing me money and negatively affecting the kids and me. I feel like because I never laid any ground rules in the first place, and they're difficult anyway, that it would be wasted effort on my part. Does that sound reasonable?

About them possibly blaming me for things, I think there's a chance they'll do that. She initially asked me about his impetigo in an accusatory way, even though I told her he had a gaping, weeping gash on his back at the beginning of the week that he showed up with. I usually treat his wounds with neosporin and bandaids, then he comes back the next day with no bandaids and wounds. He's never gotten injured at my house but he is pretty clumsy, I think they just let him run around barefoot and they don't watch him outside so he gets scraped up a lot.

As far as calling CPS, she told me she had CPS called on her by her husband's ex-wife. She tells me way too much. But they were inspected and he's still with them. They do dumb things, but I don't think it's outright abuse or neglect. The dad was spanking him for having accidents, I don't agree with spanking but I keep my opinion to myself about it, but I did point out that he gets incredibly distraught over pooping his pants now, seems to be scared and upset over it, and doesn't even want to poop in the potty anymore. I feel bad for him, but I think it takes a lot to get a kid taken from you, they mainly worry about severe physical abuse and drugs.

This is a side question, but I mentioned this kid potty training, it has been really hard because he's still pooping in his pants and I'm having to clean it up. I don't want to make him regress, but I also don't want poop all over my stuff and I don't think I should have to clean his poopy clothes every day, I don't have time to do it. What are some policies you guys have with potty training?

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