Frankly, I expected that kind of condescending reply from Blackcat31. I took the kids that I took because it was either that or lose my house. And then I wouldn't have anywhere to live, AND I would have lost my business. And since my credit rating is barely above zero because of all the debt I took out to start up the daycare, I wouldn't have gotten an apartment or a trailer either. Again, terminating was not an option, and it must have been quite a feat of imagination to convince yourself that self-respect was more important than housing or eating. I have a disabled wife and a young daughter to worry about keeping fed and housed. Sometimes you find yourself doing things you would never have imagined just to stay afloat. Try being a 40-year-old fry cook at a fast food place and talk to me about self-respect.

At least for the kids on assistance, I can't raise my rates because the county barely covers the costs that I am charging already. I would love to specialize in an area, but I am currently full, with no waiting list and no interest in months. I will be losing 3 kids to kindergarten in the fall, and I am terrified about what that will mean for my business.

Someone suggested going out and volunteering to make contacts and get your name out there. How do you do that when you are doing care from 5:30am-10 pm or 7am-10pm (depending on the parents' rotating schedules), sometimes 7 days a week. We had, I think, 2 or 3 days off in March where we didn't have any kids. And we used those to sleep, do laundry and do dishes. We only have 1 day off in April, and it has already passed.

I have found that people would rather take their kids to the cheap programs where they park the kids in front of the TV all day rather than pay what we are worth. I got a call about infant care and quoted a price of $3.40 an hour (which is the county rate), and was told that was much too high. I am barely even making a living at $3.40 an hour for an infant.

I admit that when I started, I had these great dreams for curriculum and story time and structure. But then I only had 3 or 4 kids for the first 5 months I was open and had to get a full-time job while my wife did the daycare until we got licensed. By the time we were licensed and full, the fire and drive had just burned out. And we have such a huge range of ages that what is appropriate for one age group is not appropriate for the others. We do lots of Nick Jr, Disney, free play and outdoor play. No letters or lessons or crafts or anything else, and I don't bill myself as a preschool.

People who are reading this are probably just rolling their eyes and commenting about how I am just full of excuses. That's fine and dandy. You haven't lived my life, and you know nothing about the circumstances I am coping with financially, mentally, socially, within my family, or anything else. Some days I can count on my wife to help me with the daycare, and sometimes she is too sick and becomes another person I have to care for. I'm the kind of person that comes into existence for the sole purpose of giving other people someone to feel superior in comparison.