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Old 02-05-2010, 12:54 PM
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Carole's Daycare Carole's Daycare is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Minnesota
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Actually.. I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENT.. "OH REALLY HE/SHE DOESN'T DO THAT AT HOME... bull, they do so, you just fail to see it"
My son is 2 1/2 yrs old and NOT ONCE has he bit at home!! It has been at Daycare every single time! He doesn't bite anyone in the household. NOT EVEN HIS TOYS!! HE ONLY BITES AT DAYCARE. From what you are saying, you make the parents of the children feel like it IS their fault! What are you saying we are bad parents!? Your comment has made me very upset. And by calling their parents to have them come get them ISN'T going to do anything! THat is just going to make matters worse, obv. you can't control, what makes you think parents can?! Do you not understand the child care providers are basically like a parent also to the children? They see you guys more sometimes than they see their own parents!!! I give my son 100% of my attention, and he DOESN'T do any of the stuff he does at daycare. That right there proves to me that he isn't well cared for at daycare. It really upsets me when I go to pick him up and they say "Oh he bit a child today so and so" it does upset me, because I do disicpline him at home. I do pay attention to him at home. Then you say this!? That all we do is fail to see it?!
Children rarely act exactly the same at home as they do in daycare- and parents often don't see the behavior because the child is at home with 1 or 2 parents and maybe a couple siblings- in his own kingdom with his own toys etc. That same wonderful child may be completely unable to deal with group dynamics. The king of the castle is one of a group of children all equal in a daycare. The toy is never his- it must be shared. The rules may be different than at home... All situations that create frustration in the child. None the daycares "fault". Teaching proper socialization skills takes time and is challenging for parents and daycare alike. Ultimately if a child is delayed in communication skills, easily frustrated/short fused the safety of the group may have to override and the biter may be let go. One way to have parents and providers work together on the subject is to have the parent enroll the child in a play group or put the child in a situation under the parents supervision where it hs to interact with other children and watch. If biting is how he reacts to kids at daycare- he may react the same at the Burger King playland. The child doesn't know how the parent feels about the behavior and no amount of talking about it after hours will have the same result as the swift intervention and discipline on the spot. Unfortunately sucess in curbing the behavior really depends on the cognitive ability of the child somewhat. Until it understands cause and effect, is developmentally at the stage to grasp empathy, all anyone can do is try to watch closely to watch for cues that may indicate an upcoming attack. For the biter, who already is socially incompetent, the negative reactions of his classmates that do not want to play with or be around him out of fear, exacerbates the frustration and limits the biters opportunity to learn positive social interactions. Sometimes a new setting with more individual attention and a renewed emphasis on naming emotions and emotional control can help.

Last edited by Michael; 02-05-2010 at 01:49 PM.
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