May I ask why you didn't tell Grandma to stay out of it and intervene when she put the shoes on the child? Did you make it clear that you didn't want her to interfere with your discipline and direction to the child?

Are you willing to notify the parents and let them know how badly the grandma behaved in your home? Are you wiling to tell them how rude it was for her to interfere and put the child's shoes on when you were VERY clear that you expected the child to do it?

If you believe that the child should have done as she was told then you have to be willing to put your money where your mouth is. Money being loosing the kids money if you are firm with the parents that the grandma overstepped her bounds.

THAT'S what it takes to send the message to the kid that while in your home YOU are the boss and she is to do as she is told. If you are not willing to loose the money then you have to accept that you have to do as the kid wants while in the presence of her adults.

It's a hard reality but it comes with this job.

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