How terrible.

I wouldn't say anything to the other families, but I would talk to the parents. Losing a child is a very isolating experience. My third child died an hour after birth. People feel like they don't know what to say, or think they won't say the right thing, so they say nothing. And it's awful. A simple "I'm thinking of you" text means the world. Use their child's name when you can. If possible, send a card, flowers, a gift card, anything. Birthdays and deathdays are important too - a month, 6 months, a year...if you're still involved with the family, say something. I think of my daughter all the time, but the 13th of every month is especially hard and it's been two years. Give the 3 year old extra cuddles if you can. If he or she wants to talk about it, listen. Losing a sibling is so hard and kids need to feel their feelings, without the adults in their lives minimizing their emotions or quickly changing the topic.

Of course, some parents don't want to talk about their loss and that's ok. But in my experience, most do.

Feel free to send me a message if you want. I'm quite involved in the pregnancy and infant loss community in my city and I'd be happy to chat.

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