Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I agree.... I have a non-verbal 3 yr old too.
Not because of any developmental disability or because of any medical issues....just because the child refuses.
There is no boundaries, no structure, no rules and definitely no consequences for ANYTHING at home so child simply refuses to speak here because they can.
I see it more of a control issue or power struggle in my situation though because my kiddo will chit chat all day long with others when they want to but the minute any response or reply is required, the child simply clams up and won't say a thing.
I had a discussion in regards to saying "Please" and "Thank you" with the parent as the child was missing out on some things here as those words are absolutely necessary in some situations and the parent looked at me like I had 3 heads and said "Well they don't HAVE to say Please or Thank you at home so I don't see why they HAVE to here either."
Um, yeah.... 
So I just go about my day and don't push any type of speaking but the child definitely misses out on a lot of things because they won't speak but until that becomes the child's issue the child is going to stay mute. By choice.
As far as the assessment goes....I inform parent but I can't make or force them have their child assessed. I wouldn't term a family for not having an assessment done unless the behavior (requiring assessment) became a danger or big issue here.
If that happened, I would term based on not being able to provide what child needs but not because parent didn't or wouldn't get an assessment done.
YES! Sounds like we have the exact same kiddo. She'll chatter up a storm with the other kids but when I'm giving her direction and asking her to do something she doesn't want to do...silent time. Parents ask I don't do time outs as they don't do that at home so it's something foreign to her. They said she'll "make her own choices when the time is right and she wants to do it". Oh...ok
I told her we do time outs here and she'll eventually figure out the process and the action/consequence concept. Lol! No boundaries or structure at home and it's so, so obvious here.