I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Be sure to read your contract thoroughly. It sounds like you don't need to pay her and that you can use your 2 weeks vacation coming to you - but even vacations usually have perimeters of notification, etc. As long as everything's in order and the contract isn't clear or doesn't specifically exclude, you shouldn't have to pay.

Her potty training policy is wrong by the usual and customary industry standard - by the time your child will be ready, it will be past the ready point and the kid will be 3.5 - 4 years old probably. All kids going through training have accidents and it's normal to have 1 accident or more per day during that time. It's virtually impossible to fully potty train a child in 3 days until the child is 3.5-4+ years old. It's difficult with in homes because they usually don't have 2 teachers. In a 2 teacher environment, it's much easier because one can deal with the accident while the other stays with the kids. I recommend you search for care where there are 2 teacher classrooms so they can better potty train your child. I believe that daycares are responsible for potty training as well as parents, especially when most kids are there full time. What's most important is that the daycare be willing to work with you and respect your wishes as the child's parents, not take the "my way or the highway" approach.

I think it's so ironic that daycares get SO angry when customers leave. Customers rarely ever leave to find another local daycare because they're happy with their current care. Customers leave because they aren't happy with their current care. You attempted to discuss these issues with her and her true colors came out. I judge daycares by how they handle conflict. Conflict isn't a bad thing, it's inevitable - it's how each of you deals with it that makes or breaks the relationship. Here, her true colors came out and it looks like she was ok as long as she was in control of everything, but as soon as you questioned her, she got defensive. How bad is that when she got angry with you for asking about potty training?! And she starts in on your husband when she finds out you are looking for other care?! What did she expect? She chose to not follow your potty training requests, which obviously she didn't make clear to you prior to your choosing her for care. She chose to charge you for full time and then fill your child's spot on the day off - I think that it's actually reportable. In our state, you pay for the spot and daycares cannot fill it. Of course, she was going to initially tell you that it'd be ok for you to take the kid on Wednesdays, knowing full well she was going to fill it with another child so she'd get even more money.

You're better off going somewhere else. One thing that I judge daycares by is how flexible they are as well - too much flexibility is bad and too strict is bad - it's hard to find the right balance on the issues that are important to you as a parent. You will find it - just don't rule out anything, I can't stress that enough - be sure to get recommendations from your friends, co workers, neighbors.

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