Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I agree with this. Years ago, I had a extremely difficult daycare baby, similar to the one OP talks about.
I "toughed" it out because I thought that was my job. I figured, it was part of my responsibility to deal with him....despite the fact that he really did take up more than half my attention during the day.
It never dawned on me that the other parents (or even the other kids) were bothered by it. Had I known then, what I know now....I would NEVER have continued to try and tough it out. Had even one other parent came to me and expressed concern, I think it would have snapped me out of the chaos I was dealing with and helped me see a different perspective and realize it wasn't just MY issue.
Environment is everything in Early Childhood and if it isn't everything, it definitely plays a HUGE role in the day to day emotional and mental stability of EVERYONE and a high maintenance baby can do a provider in faster than anything.
OP~ I would schedule a private conference with your provider. I would talk with her about the issues you have posted here and I would approach it in a helpful, supportive manner verses a full on complaint about what things you are unhappy about...kwim? Maybe just share your concerns about the time and attention the other kids are missing out on due to the high needs of other children. I would also express concern for her own mental health and stress levels.
Most providers would appreciate a parent that is concerned about the WHOLE scenario and not just focus on YOUR personal concerns (although valid).
I would NOT however, recommend that you speak to the other parent. That is not something I see going over well. Approach your provider and have a private conference with her. Honesty is the best policy and open communication (when things are BOTH good and bad) is vital to a healthy working relationship. 
Agreed.
You may also get a glimpse into how she is feeling about/dealing with this. She may be ready to term or have the child on a plan. Chance are good she is already aware there is a problem. And if not, maybe you will be the one to help her realize she doesn't have to "just deal."