Originally Posted by angelw2babies:
1st time mom? I would have pulled my baby too. I would have looked at it like you were irresponsible and used poor judgment. Then again, I was 20 years old, and thought I knew it all. Nearly 17 years later I laugh at myself and feel sorry for people that had to deal with me 
How is that poor judgement and irresponsible? It's incredibly EASY to overheat oil and cause it to smoke.
OP stated there was no fire, indicating she remedied the issue as soon as she noticed it. Sure, she dumped it down the sink which isn't a great idea for the reason she mentioned. But, in the moment with hot, smoking, stinky oil in your hand, all you can think about is getting rid of it somewhere that isn't going to melt(ie: the garbage) so sometimes silly things get done. I've dropped food into the hot oil on accident before and literally reached into the oil to grab the food wouldn't even thinking about how hot it was! 2nd degree burns on my fingers after that and that's after many years working in a kitchen. Stupid stuff happens
Personally, I don't see the issue, what so ever. But I've worked in restaurants so I don't freak out about over heated oil/smoking oil. I obviously clean up any mess, and air out the house but that's it. It's not like you caught the stove on fire!
Honestly I think mom is WAY over reacting and you made the right choice in letting her go. You'd just end up with more problems.