Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I am a registered user but logged out. I am a 26 year old woman and I see the results of lack of discipline in the generation of adults I am in let alone the children that I rear.
My own dh is totally spoiled and he knows it and he SURE KNOWS that I know it. He was raised in a wealthy family, both parents worked 12 hours or more a day running a business, so there was a lack of parental involvement. When he was disciplined as a child he was yelled at and put down, I’m assuming this would have been in connection with both parents being worn out from working so much. This has caused a lot of self esteem issues for him. In an attempt to make up for not being around enough the parents (especially his mother) would ‘buy his love’ so to speak. He said he never remembers his dad ever hugging him or telling him he loved him. This has made it much harder for dh to show his love freely for others. He was never taught the value of a dollar, lived at home until he was 26 years old and still to this day doesn’t understand the concept of priorities when it comes to finances. His parent’s paid for his entire college educated, paid off any credit card debt he made along the way (which was a lot) and bought him a $20,000.00 truck when he graduated. In defense of the lack of parental involvement that his parents have they will say, “well at least we were able to give our children a good financial start at life, not a lot of others can say that.” Yes, except now I am left with a dh that needs to be taught how to survive in the real world, has major self esteem issues and took almost a year before he admittedly said he loved me. His mother ‘babied’ him, on top of paying for every single thing he has needed or simply wanted his entire life she made sure everything was done for him. Dh didn’t even know how to run a dryer when I met him, let alone mash a pot of potatoes.
Dh also has at least 20 male friends that were all raised along somewhat of the same line and all have the same adult problems now as he does.
I am also seeing this so, so much in the generation of parent’s now a days.
My own best friend has an almost 2 year old daughter that she does literally everything for. To be honest I don’t think her child spends anytime outside of mommy’s arms when mommy is around. Her daughter is still rocked to sleep at night with a bottle, walks around with a pacifier in her mouth, doesn’t know how to walk through the snow in winter boots and if she cries because she wants something whatever she wants is given to her immediately.
Although I agree that technology, insufficient nutrients from food and too many immunizations have something to do with what is wrong with children now a days. I think the bulk of it comes down to the mothers working outside the home and children not taught what it is like to be a part of a real family.
Children need a consistent reminder (consistent discipline procedures) to be taught what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and what is not acceptable. When you have 2 (or more) separate families raising one child (Mom & Dad and Provider) the consistency is much harder to keep up with as both parties most likely are not on the same page. Even if a provider was able to successfully show a child what is right and wrong, acceptable or not acceptable if the child is going home to a set of parents who are not consistently keeping up with that teaching then a child is being taught that SOMETIMES such and such is wrong and unacceptable and SOMETIMES that same thing is OK. It also makes it very confusing for a child to know which adult figure is guiding them properly and most times a child will lean towards the adult figure that lets them get away with the unacceptable action.
Parent’s now a days are selfish. They choose the luxuries over building a stable and successful family. It is not “what is wrong with kids these days,” it is, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH PARENT’S THESE DAYS!?”
Also, what ever happened to teaching children responsibilities (chores)??
Very well said!