Originally Posted by Achelea:
The reason he wakes up 3-4 times a night is because he knows he is going to get one. He does not even want one when with you because he knows he ain't getting one. Its mom's problem, she is the one up all night with him.
Is it affecting your days? Is the little guy cranky because he is tired? Does he cry for these?
If it is affecting your days with the child because he is screaming for it or not able to function because he is tired from being up so many times at night, then I would have a serious discussion with the parents.
It used to p**s me off too but I have learned that as long as what they do at home with their kids is not affecting how they behave during the day and they are happy when they are with me and their daytime friends I really do not care what they do at home! I do the hard work of daytime weaning for me and the kids are fine with it.
I just had one move away who was almost 3 years old. He was with me from the time he was 4 months old. Of course as a baby I would give it to him but as soon as he started walking I would put it in his cubby when he arrived in the morning. He never got it at all during the day not even for naps. The first thing parents would do is pop it in his mouth the second they came in the door. Even before putting on the kids shoes and coat!
I have another with me now who is almost 2. I took his away from him when he was 11 months old because he was throwing it out of the pnp. I told mom that he never was getting it here again during the day and she was fine with it. I don't play fetch the soother! I just found out a few months ago that he still gets it at home. In fact he goes to bed with several of them! 
Another dcg is 15 months old. I don't do bottles once they are eating well and drinking from sippy cups. First thing she gets is a bottle for the ride home. She sees mom or dad from the window and starts screaming for it before they are even in the house. This little girl is also up all night several times for a "bottle"
All of these little ones have been and are super great here during the day and do not need these things at all they are so busy playing with their friends and doing fun things.
No he is doing great here without it, and I guess you have a point mom is the one who is up with him at night!