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Old 12-12-2013, 10:43 AM
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Heidi Heidi is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6,858

Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
thank you for taking the time to read all that! I am so worried that she's going to start refusing bottles. If I don't have to go back to work, and could stay home, from your experience with similar kids would you say that it would be in her best interest to give her more time to get more comfortable with me being away? Perhaps leaving her now is just too soon? I'm worried that letting her CIO, so-to-speak, could be detrimental to her wellbeing since she is so young.
I think what you really want to hear is "yes, you should stay home with your child".

It sounds like that is what you really want. Maybe it'd be a financial struggle, maybe your SO doesn't support it, maybe you feel like people will judge you for not going back to your PhD. program.

I think that you just really need to decide if that's what's really going on?

Everyone has pretty much said give it more time. I'd agree. Sit down with your provider and let her know you are freaking out, and you need her to help you through this.

The crying itself WILL NOT hurt your child. She knows she is loved, because you show her that every day. But, a child who cries a lot and a mother who worries constantly are a major stressor for a provider. You don't want a stressed-out provider. So, talk to her. Make her promise that if she ever feels overwhelmed, she will call you. THEN you can come and rescue her (and baby). Otherwise, she's handling it, and your LO will be OK!

That, or scratch the whole thing and quit your job or school for a while.

By the way, every one of my dcm's has left here crying their first day back at work, and have been in tears the first few weeks at their jobs. You're not weird in this! I was there once myself....23 1/2 years ago!