If I'm reading your post right, the big problem right now is just getting her on the bus - once she's at school she's doing pretty well. Is there someone else who can help you get your daughter ready for school and onto the bus? Thankfully I never had this problem with my own kids, but I did have a daycare family once who had something similar going on, and it was really a power struggle between the daughter and her mom. The mom had her husband get the daughter ready and to school, and when he couldn't then she had her father (the daughter's grandfather) come over to do it, and the problems resolved. After about a month the mom was able to go back to getting her daughter off to school with no further issues.

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